The lions of London – Far from the Zoo these guys live. Oh no, they are in dance studios around london! Protecting their large heads and how they work them as the execute their dance!
The Autohagiographers
The Autohagiographers struggle just like the rest of us in the current economic downturn. Where buy to let is the only way we can ensure our pensions. Where our savings rates are less that the rates of inflation. Where croissants from Pret are not breakfast – they are invitation for jibes about how lucky you are to be able to afford the roll of butter cooked till it resembles pastry. We might think we are hard done by. But the lion Autohagiographers are no different. They struggle also.
Prowling the streets of Stockwell looking for a place to rent for less than 75 billions pounds a week (hyperbole obviously).
These are the trials of our modern day lion dancers. But are they discussed in the house of commons? I think not.
Lion Dance, A True Story from the Heart of the (Urban) Jungle
Macrocephalous Autohagiographer
I met a lion the other day as I was researching my lion dance – on the tube of course. This lion gave me a chuckle, but sadly, also a tear. This was no normal lion. He was a large headed lion. He could not do the Macrocephalous Autohagiographer. The dance
of his species.
He did cry, he roared to me! He roared, I am the definition of a Macrocephalous, but the dance! The dance I cannot do! I gave him hope! I showed him this video, the video of the infamous teacher, the teacher of the Autohagiographers.
So for all you big headed lion dancers out there who suspect they are true and irrevocably dedicated to Macrocephalous Autohagiographer, let you be aware that this is not line dancing. Ah ha!! See! You thought that you were a pro in this vertical, but i’m afraid it is not the case! Line dancing is not the dance of lions. Line dancing is a traditional human dance! Danced to the fine tune of the fiddles of the South of the USA. For a fantastic demo see here!
As amazing as this is, and to the tunes of fine songs such as Country Roads, and Cotton Eye Joe (old time favourites), it is not the Macrocephalous Autohagiographer, it is the Line dance! (not the lion dance) hehehe! BEWARE!
Macrocephalous Autohagiographer – A Dance Performed by Lions
Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce the latest phenomenon to reach the western world.
Men, Women and Lions are signing in their thousands for this. It is the Macrocephalous Autohagiographer, the dance that is adapted from the plains of Africa, the dance of lions.
This dance is UNBELIEVABLE – by unbelievable, I don’t mean amazing, in the OMG since. I mean,
unbelievable as in, you actually won’t believe it.
1. You get a lion. Now, this is obviously very difficult. So, I suggest you become a zoo keeper,
befriend a lion, ask him to do you a favour in going for a walk with you. Then prance
across regent’s park, get the Bakerloo line to Elephant and Castle. At this point, you
will have spent some time with the lion. Particularly if it’s the weekend and there are
engineering works on tube. Once you know him you will have completed step one of
learning the macrocephalous autohagiographer dance – the research step.
2. Step two is the best step – you become a lion. Now, I am assuming you are a human,
therefore, this will not be straight forward. My first recommendation here,is that you
pretend that you are a lion. This will ensure that the ‘Positive Mental Attitude’ approach
will get you to the first stage. This will allow you to do the macrocephalous part of the
dance. To complete your ‘turning into a lion’ you could go to Zimbabwe, where there is
a man with a magic touch
The autohagiographer bit should now be easy peasy. HOWEVER, flights
to Zimbabwe are expensive. And it’s hot there. SO! You could get this FAB outfit!!!
macrocephalous autohagiographer lion dancing!!
And now, a demo by a human!
Some people are claiming that macrocephalous means something about large heads, well lions can have large heads and can self-promote too! The most famous of these lions is Big Head Lion, a strange music-making lion from London (Zoo), not only does he love to talk about himself but he also has a giant head, like ridiculous!
Macrocephalous Autohagiographeris a lion dance, some claim it relates to large/big/whopping heads but you can get the lowdown on that in our main post as this is where we keep the meat, so to speak.
